Marry the purpose, date the plan

“Ohh my god!” screamed my girlfriend’s mother.

Let me paint the scene for you: it’s -15c, windy, and snowing. It’s 9 am, still half dark, and we’re in a random parking lot in the Norwegian mountains. I’m wearing all the wool, down, and Gore-Tex I own to stay warm.

I had just taken off my gloves and dropped down on one knee in front of my girlfriend…

As I reach into my pocket, her dad shouts “Wait! Let me grab my camera!”

I looked up confused, not understanding what the fuss was about.

You should have their faces once they realized it was a Leatherman I grabbed out of my pocket, not a ring.

You see, I just kneeled to fix a buckle on my girlfriend’s ski boot.

But I guess her parents got a little carried away there for a moment.

Priceless.

Now, you’re probably wondering why I’m sharing her poor mother’s disappointment with you when you’re expecting to read something about project management.

But the thing is - this happens in project teams all the time too.

People mistake dating for marriage.

Let me explain…

Dating is experimenting, right? You’re figuring out if you’re compatible. Every date is a little test.

You’re looking for signals that tell to you to commit or adjust your plan.

Provided that things go well, you slowly (but surely) commit further. First, you “forget” your toothbrush, then you get a key, and before you know it you’re on one knee for something else than fixing a ski boot.

Marriage, on the other hand, is a commitment. You’re going to make this work, no matter what it takes. You don’t readjust the plan if one date night doesn’t go well - you’re in this for the long haul.

Now, look at a recent project you were part of.

A project goes through similar phases in the beginning. It starts with gathering information, aligning expectations, and trying things small scale. With that information, you make a plan.

Once you’ve made a solid plan that all stakeholders stand behind, you commit. You press play. You execute the plan - until you hit the inevitable change.

And what do you do then? You zoom out, look at the overall purpose of the project, and decide how you adjust the plan to deal with it. Because you’re committed to the purpose, not to the plan.

At least, that’s the theory.

Most less experienced project managers execute their plans regardless of new information. Regardless of risk. Regardless of change. They put their blinders on and keep marching.

They treat their plan as an irreversible commitment.

They marry their plan.

You see, your plan is just a way to store all those initial conversations. It’s a way to document the research, the analysis, and the tradeoffs.

But you will hit new information that requires adjustments.

And that’s why I’m urging you not to marry the plan.

Marry the purpose instead.

Commit to the purpose. But don’t commit to doing it how you thought you would - that’s just a starting point.

Marry the purpose, date the plan.

I should get that printed on a coffee mug. Or engraved into my Leatherman.

Talk soon,
Jasper

PS: Last week I shared that I’m building a brand-new membership community for project managers called Solved.

As a Solved member, you’ll get access to a knowledge base full of practical playbooks & real-world examples, tools & templates, and connect with peers to exchange ideas and share experiences.

But as you know, building a project while ignoring your key stakeholders is asking for trouble.

That’s why I’m looking for 20 founding members to join early. You’ll get to work closely with me to shape the final product and lock in a 50% discount for life.

Reply “Solved” if you want to learn more about this opportunity.