My favourite leadership lesson of 2023

Most project managers think that if they just get their plan right, the project will take care of itself.

But this couldn’t be further from the truth.

“In Excel, no one ever loses money” my old CFO used to say. Or in other words, the real world is complicated.

And the most complicated piece of it?

People.

People are complex and interesting. People never behave how we thought they would. Some days you love them, other days you’d rather be alone on a small island.

And that’s where leadership comes in. Because you manage work, but you lead people.

And speaking of leadership…

I’ve been reading a fascinating book called “Setting the table” by Danny Meyer. Danny is the owner of a group of restaurants, and he’s best known for how he views hospitality.

Early in the book, just after he had opened his first restaurant, he described how a conversation with a mentor shaped his idea about leading people.

And while you’re probably not running a restaurant, this is one of the better takes on leadership I’ve read in a long while…

The salt shaker theory

Danny sat down with his mentor Pat Cetta, and told him how he struggled to get a consistent message across to his staff about his standard of excellence.

Waiters and managers were constantly testing him and pushing the limits, and it was driving him crazy.

Pat leaned back with a smile, and said: “If you choose to get upset about this, you’re missing the boat”.

He then asked him to clear the table next to them, except for the salt shaker.

Danny did as he was asked, and put the salt shaker in the middle of the table.

“You sure that’s where you want it?” Pat asked.

Danny moved it by an inch, and as soon as he nodded, Pat gave it a whack.

“Now move it back to the center”

Danny, still puzzled, adjusted the salt shaker back to the center of the table.

Bam.

Pat nudged the salt shaker over again with a smile.

“Listen, Danny. Your staff and guests are always moving your salt shaker off-center. That’s their job. It’s the job of life. It’s the law of entropy! Until you understand that, you’ll get pissed off every time your salt shaker is off-center. It’s your job not to get upset.”

He continued…

“That’s just how it works. It’s your job to move that salt shaker back each time and let them know exactly what you stand for. Let them know what excellence looks like.”

Genius.

There are so many things you can take from this. I often say that managing expectations is half the job done. I’ll bet you $10 that half of your team doesn’t even know where the salt shaker should be.

Constant gentle pressure

To make sure that the salt shaker remains in the right place, Danny applies what he calls “Constant, gentle pressure”.

His idea has nothing to do with micromanagement or nitpicking. It’s all about creating an environment where everyone is always striving to improve.

High-performance cultures are hard enough in a stable team, but you’ve got to work extra hard for it.

Because in your projects, people come and go.

That means that you can’t rely on culture like you could in a team where people stay for years. You need to be explicit about “how we do things here” because changing teams don’t have the time to adjust themselves and set implicit standards.

This is exactly why Danny’s idea of constant gentle pressure is so important for you as a project manager.

5 components of constant gentle pressure stood out to me:

1. Set clear standards and expectations. What does excellence look like in your team? What behaviors do you want to see?

2. Communicate your expectations consistently. Don’t assume people know what you expect of them. Repeat your story at every chance you get.

3. Lead by example. It all starts with you. Are you actively role-modeling the standards you set? If you don’t follow the standards, you can’t expect anyone else to do so.

4. Provide feedback and coaching. Once you’ve set clear expectations up front, remind people of them often. If you accept a lower standard once, you’ve just lowered the bar for the whole team. They’re watching.

5. Be patient and persistent. It takes time to build culture, especially when people come and go. It’s your job to show what excellence looks like, over and over again.

The magic of this might be in that last line. I’ve underlined it for you.

If you’re leading a team, moving the salt shaker back every time is not an annoying distraction that keeps you from doing your job.

It is your job.

Talk soon;
Jasper

PS: if you’re looking for something to read over the holidays, pick up Setting the Table here (note the book cover).